


A Theory of Chance

by TCGA



Category: Snowbarry - Fandom, The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: AU, F/M, SnowBarry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-01-29
Packaged: 2021-03-12 15:55:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28887951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TCGA/pseuds/TCGA
Summary: Childhood friends Caitlin and Ralph encounter job offers at the same time that casually happen to be in each other's city, so they decide to switch homes for a few weeks. When Caitlin comes across someone from her past and Ralph helps another find closure in hers, what they thought to be a strictly professional trip will make them question the choices they both have made. [AU].
Relationships: Barry Allen/Caitlin Snow, Ralph Dibny/Sue Dibny
Kudos: 13





	1. Chapter 1

"Who broke up with you now?"

Caitlin huffed and reclined her chair when her friend's face showed up on her phone screen. "Well, hello to you too, Ralph," she said, snarky. "How could you possibly have guessed that from my name on the screen?"

Ralph snickered. "You never call me unless you need something or recently broke up with someone," her friend rationalized.

"That's not true!"

"Yeah? How are you, then?"

Caitlin bit her lip and tapped her fingers on her desk. "Not so good. I recently broke up with someone-"

"Ha!"

"-but that's not why I am calling!"

"Then, you can tell me _what you need_ later. What happened?" He squinted, trying to look behind her. "And where are you? I hear an echo when you talk."

"I'm in my lab, you know, in the basement."

"Why aren't you at work? It's 10 AM."

"Because I left yesterday."

Ralph's eyes widened. "Wait, what?"

Caitlin sighed, wondering why she hadn't lied instead. "Mercury Labs is not financing my research anymore," she explained, staring at a long To-Do-List written on her board, trying to spot one thing she could still work on without expensive equipment. "My partner and I are on our own. As for the guy I was seeing, same old: according to him, I'm emotionally unavailable."

Reality somehow became a lot heavier when Caitlin realized that she wasn't summarizing her current life situation. No, that was her _whole life_ as a freelancing scientist with limited social interaction and no resources.

"So," Ralph started, once her silence extended for too long, "you're still too good for any work place and back to dating guys you don't really like, because you expect a certain amount of emotional support while hoping they actually leave you alone to work."

Caitlin rolled her eyes at him. "And then you wonder why I barely call."

"Hey, it's not my fault that you sound bored when you talk about men and impatient when you start a new job."

"That doesn't give you the right to P.I.-me."

Ralph put his phone on his desk and rested his head on his elbows. "Fine. What about your research? Any facilities interested in picking it up?"

"One." She grimaced. "Tannhauser Industries."

"Isn't that your mom's company?"

"Yes, and I will say no."

"What? Why?"

"I can't stand her breathing down my neck all the time."

Her friend arched an eyebrow. "Is this 2008 Caitlin talking?"

"Ralph…"

"Caitlin, things with your mother were difficult when you were a teenager, but now…"

"Oh, they still are. Trust me, I have her over every Christmas." She tapped the screen with a wary finger, not willing to accept family advice. "Also, I have worked hard to detach myself from her. I don't want my life's work to have her brand all over it…"

"Your _life's work_?" Ralph snorted. "Caitlin, you're 26. You finished med school last year and just got into this project. You can start over if you wanted..."

"I don't want to."

Ralph sighed. "Why don't you think about it? Ask her if you can come to Central City and work with her for a few weeks, see if it works out. You can stay with me if you need to."

Caitlin looked at her board one more time, and the sudden wish to accept that suggestion didn't take her by surprise. She hadn't intended to mention any of this to Ralph precisely because she knew he wouldn't agree with her about Doctor Tannhauser this time. Because she also knew, deep down, that maybe she had a point when she was seventeen years old, but not anymore.

"I'll figure something out," she let out, before she could commit to anything. "How are you?"

"I'm fine," Ralph said, as usual. "But things have been slow this month."

"No dates?"

He huffed. "I'd rather beg to be reinstated than go on a date, you know that."

"Well, I figured that you would change your mind eventually..."

But he firmly cut her off. "I won't. Now, why were you calling?"

Caitlin tried her best not to look hurt. This, right here, was the reason why it always felt like she only called Ralph to ask for advice and favors: because he wouldn't talk to her about himself at all. Not even when he had been kicked out the force, a year before. Back in high school, it was way easier to tell when Ralph was going through something and to get him to share a little bit, but since Caitlin had moved to Coast City at the end of their senior year, reaching out to tell him stuff was the only way to keep in contact.

"I was wondering if you would be willing to take a case here, in Coast City," Caitlin finally answered, giving in.

"I could consider it," Ralph said, noticeably happy to get into business. "Whose case?"

"My partner, actually. Sue Dearbon." Caitlin saw Ralph grab a pen from his side and started speaking slower to let him take notes. "She wants to find her father. It's a cold case the police closed in the 90s, and the few people she wants to speak to still live here."

"Has she followed any of those leads yet?"

"No. She thinks her dad could've been involved with dangerous people and she is a little scared of asking around."

"The 90s. Wow, the trace is cold, and some data is going to be very hard to gather. This could take weeks…."

"You can crash at my place."

"Or…"

Ralph stayed still for so long, with his mouth shaped in an "o", that Caitlin thought the connection was failing.

"Or?" she prompted.

"You could come up here while I'm gone, talk to your mom and try working with her for a few weeks!" he happily exclaimed. "I stay at your place and you stay at mine!"

Caitlin blinked, letting that sink in. "You want us to switch homes?"

"Yes!"

"Like in _The Holiday_?"

"Oh, totally like in _The Holiday_."

Caitlin shook her head, mildly surprised by the fact he knew that movie. "That's ridiculous."

"Oh, no. Don't tell me you're a _Love Actually_ kind of girl…"

"Ralph, it's the idea that's ridiculous. I can't just drop everything and…"

"Caitlin, you're unemployed and your friend will be too worried about her dad's case to help you with anything. You might actually do something productive accepting your mom's help."

"I can't work for her for weeks!"

"Why not? It gives you time to do some progress, make a breakthrough or whatever, and then you can leave."

Caitlin raised her eyebrows. "First, you were telling me to give my mom a chance, and now you're implying that I should use her lab and then ditch her?"

"Just tell her that the only condition is that you're free to go if she drives you crazy." He shrugged. "Plus, don't you want to meet a nice, sweet piano player guy?"

Caitlin winced, noticing Central City's skyline through Ralph's window, right behind him. "Why don't I get to have the British guy?" she wondered, adding to his _The Holiday_ reference.

"Because come on, girl. I'm totally Cameron Diaz in this scenario."

Caitlin smiled fondly. "Is the weather nice, at least?"

"Cold, but sunny as ever. Somehow."

Caitlin ran a quick check-list in her mind, only to make sure she had enough winter clothes. She had gotten rid of most of it since she had moved to Coast City, but had purchased some more for a few trips to the North.

That was it. It was settled. She knew she couldn't afford being picky during this time, no matter how smart her diplomas proved her to be.

She fisted her hands under her desk. "Okay," she decided.

Ralph grinned. "Really?" he exclaimed. "You're switching places with me?"

"Yes, let's do it."

"Alright. Saturday morning?"

It was Thursday. "Okay, perfect."

"Okay, I'll call you tomorrow night, so we can exchange instructions."

"And make sure I don't change my mind, am I right?"

Ralph looked amused. "Oh, that won't be necessary, I'm heading there anyway. I will kick you out of your own home if you're still there when I arrive."

"Got it. Goodbye."

Caitlin hung up the phone and rubbed her temples, trying to focus on the things that she needed to get done before returning to her hometown, and not on what awaited there.

* * *

That Saturday, after a three-hour train ride, Caitlin finally arrived at Central City.

Like expected, as soon as she got out at the station, she found herself trapped in an immense crowd that moved three steps per minute towards the exit. She sighed, trying to overcome that already familiar feeling of suffocation. The city had never been exactly overpopulated, but there were always too many people in it, anyway. People rarely went to Central City to stay, but the huge influx and outflux loop kept it permanently busy. It was a madness that only became more evident when it took her nearly half an hour to get a cab.

Ralph's P.I. office, which was also his apartment, was in a bleak looking building in downtown with no elevator. Since Caitlin had managed to fit a month's worth of clothes and other essentials into one bag, she had to take at least three breaks in between flights of stairs to carry it to the fourth floor.

After what felt like an eternity, Caitlin reached the door with a glass window at the end of the hallway ("Ralph Dibny – Private Investigator"), picked up the copy of Ralph's key from under a plant pot, like he had instructed her, and opened the door with it.

"Oh, no," she exclaimed, after one peek inside.

Caitlin flinched, pulled her bag inside the apartment and quickly closed the door behind her, frantically looking around.

It was like a tornado had just passed through the place.

The trashcan had been dragged out the kitchen and turned over. The content - mostly papers, beer cans and take out containers - was spread all over the carpet. The sheets had been pulled off the bed and ditched in a corner, along with the pillows. The drawers of the dresser and the nightstand were all open, and the clothes Ralph hadn't taken with him were laying in a pile on his desk.

Caitlin shuddered and opened the door to examine the lock. There were no signs of forced entry. Had this just happened? Had an intruder waited until he was out of town, used the key to enter the apartment and put it back on their way out? What had they taken?

She cursed Ralph under her breath. Had he suggested this exchange knowing she _could not_ be safe in his apartment? He had put a lot of people behind bars before being kicked out of the force and wrecked a few homes by outing cheaters as a P.I., after all. She had never stopped to think about the growing list of enemies her friend had.

Caitlin took a deep breath, deciding who she needed to call first. She really didn't want Ralph to return or delay his investigation in any way. Not to mention, she had her own lot of evidence in front of her, so it was probably wiser to alert the police now that she still hadn't touched anything.

She pulled out her phone and called 911.

* * *

Ten minutes after her call, Caitlin was greatly surprised to find a middle-aged, dark skinned detective and a young, tall guy in a CSI jacket at the door, since she had expected them to interview her first and inspect the place later that day.

"Good morning, miss," the police officer greeted her, looking behind her. "I'm Detective Joe West, this is my…"

"Where's Ralph?" the CSI asked Caitlin, walking into the apartment uninvited.

Caitlin stepped to the side to make room for him and gestured the detective to come in, too. "Excuse him," the man apologized, pointing at the CSI guy. "Mr. Dibny is a friend of ours. Mind to tell us where he is?"

"I am an old friend of his, from Coast City," Caitlin explained, watching the nervous scientist pacing across the room from the corner of her eye. "We both had business trips this month. I had to get here, and he is on his way to Coast City, so we sort of… switched places." Detective West raised a skeptical eyebrow, and Caitlin almost expected him to drop a _The Holiday_ reference. "I got here less than twenty minutes ago and found the place like this…"

She heard the CSI chuckling behind her.

"What is it, Barry?" Detective West asked his associate, watching him walk around with his rubber gloves on.

 _Barry?_ Caitlin thought, a small bell ringing in her brain as she watched the back of his head.

"What time did Ralph take the train to Coast City?" Barry asked, carefully walking towards the bed and examining the nightstand.

"He took the 8 AM train, I believe," Caitlin answered, frowning. There was something strangely familiar about the man's voice, throaty and yet smooth.

He hummed. "Then" - He raised his index finger - "I am glad to inform you that no one broke into this apartment."

"What?"

Relief took over Caitlin's features in response to his words. Although, to her annoyance, he kept walking around the room with his back facing her. Ironically, now she was somehow more intrigued by his face than whatever had happened in there.

"The alarm clock is set up for 7:30 AM," he said, noticeably more relaxed, too. "Was it making noise when you got here?"

Caitlin exchanged a quick look with Detective West, who shrugged at her. "I… No, I don't think so," she answered. "Why? What does that mean?"

"That he was here to turn it off, which is weird, considering 7:30 is the time he should've gotten out of the door to catch his train. Meaning, he overslept and rushed out of bed when the alarm, wrongly set up, went off." Barry pointed at the discarded bedding in the corner. "Then, he took all of his clothes out of his drawers and carelessly selected what to shove into a bag." He walked towards the desk, and it was then that Caitlin noticed that the pile mostly consisted of pajama buttons and sweatpants. "Finally, those bag wheel marks on the carpet indicate that he dragged his luggage to the kitchen, grabbed something from there, probably a snack, and accidentally bumped into the trash can, turning it over as he tried to get out."

Caitlin frowned. "So… Ralph made this mess because he was late for his train?"

Barry clicked his tongue and nodded, then walked towards the kitchen to show her the sink, filled with dirty dishes. "Yes. Also, I've known Ralph for over a decade, this is what his place usually looks like."

Caitlin let out a groan. "I can't believe I made you guys come all the way here because my friend is a pig." She covered her face with her hands. "I'm so, so sorry."

The CSI turned around, giggling. "And I'm sorry for not introducing myself before, I was just very worried when we got the call. I'm Barry Allen."

Even though Caitlin had finally gotten a clear look at his face, it wasn't until he said his full name that something finally clicked, triggering a sequence of images that flashed across her mind:

_She was suddenly back in Central City High, in a lab full of students she had never taken classes with, anxiously looking around to find someone to partner with. Right when she was about to inform the teacher that she would have to work alone, someone poked her in the back. She turned around to find the same pair of bright green eyes looking at her, the same handsome smile, and heard a younger version of the same velvety voice saying almost the same words._

" _Hey, quick introduction: I'm Barry Allen. Can I work with you?"_

Caitlin's jaw dropped. "Barry," she whispered, shocked.

Barry's lips spread into a wide grin. "That took you a little longer than I hoped, Caitlin," he joked, with no hurt in his voice.

"Oh, my God." Her eyes roamed over his face. His features exhibited a maturity that was new to her, along with some well-groomed facial hair, but the boyish sparkle in his eyes was still there. "I'm sorry…"

Barry rushed a hand to his face. "It's okay, it's the beard-"

"No, I just hadn't seen you since-"

"Prom," they finished at unison.

A clearer memory rushed to Caitlin's head this time. _A slow song playing in the background, those earnest green eyes fixed on hers, his hand kindly cupping her face and the new and overwhelming sensation that washed over her as he closed the gap between them and…_

Caitlin's cheeks flamed when she heard Detective West clearing his throat behind her, wondering if she had really been staring at Barry long enough for him to feel the need to snap her out the trance.

"I'll wait for you in the car, Barry," he said, in a little bit of a mood. "Miss Snow," he added, more politely.

"I'm sorry again," Caitlin said, as she distantly heard the man opening the apartment's door to leave.

Until that moment, her former classmate and friend's face had worked as a photograph that was bringing back all these repressed memories, and Caitlin had been so caught up in them that she hadn't realized that Barry hadn't take his eyes off her, either.

She felt another rush of blood reaching her face. No wonder why Detective West had bailed. From the outside, that probably looked like the longest non-verbal human exchange in history.

"I-I thought I'd never see you again," Barry finally commented, lowly.

"I thought I'd never set foot in Central City again," Caitlin chuckled, nervously.

"Yeah, yeah. I remember you stating something similar, a few years ago."

Even though Barry was still smiling, there was something a little blue in his expression. Another familiar, yet unspoken thing to add to this already overwhelming sense of déjà vu. Something they had avoided talking about before. Something that prevented her from reacting to his comment in any way.

"How are you?" Caitlin asked, a sudden, thin thread of sadness running through her voice, making the question sound a little deeper than she planned.

Barry touched the side of his chest, where his CSI insignia was. "I made it," he answered, cheerily.

"I can see that." She sighed, remembering one long conversation about college admissions anxiety. "It was cool seeing you in action a minute ago."

He shook his head, modestly. "Sorry if I pulled your leg a little bit, I just wanted to reassure you."

Her breath hitched. "I mean, it worked. I'm sorry I wasted your time, though."

He spluttered. "I'm not. Not at… I mean, wow." He blew out a breath and rested his hands on his hips, taking a better look at her. "It's really, really nice to see you."

He scratched the back of his neck, clearly lost for words. It seemed like his worry for Ralph had somehow left his surprise to see her on the back of his mind, and now it was front and center. Meanwhile, Caitlin couldn't tell if she was flustered and silent because of the memories she was retrieving, his presence or the fact he was nervous too. Her brain seemed to be stuck in a loop, playing that key moment at prom, fixating on how he had gotten _even more_ handsome and wondering what he was thinking.

Caitlin intertwined her own fingers and placed her open hands over her chest, irrationally afraid that he could detect the rampant beating of her heart just as easily as crime scenes clues.

Barry, bless his heart, tried once again to break the silence he had started. "So, wha-what brings you to…? Never mind," he interrupted himself, waving his hands. "You said it was a business trip."

"Yeah," Caitlin simply said, not finding it necessary to specify that this was a job she was about 70% sure she wouldn't take. "I'll be here for… a while."

Barry smirked. "A while, huh?"

She sheepishly laughed. She didn't even stop to think why, she just did. "A month or so."

"Wow, sounds like you'll have your hands full."

"Thankfully, I don't need to take care of that until Monday, so I guess I'll start my weekend cleaning all of" - she looked around, scrunching up her nose - "this."

Barry opened and closed his mouth, letting out an unsure grunt.

"What?" Caitlin squeaked.

"Nothing… I mean, actually, _something_ ," he babbled, letting out a small chuckle at the end. "I could help."

Caitlin swallowed. "What?"

"I could help you clean the place." He talked so fast that the whole sentence sounded like three long words. "I mean, I know where everything goes."

Caitlin got her hands off her chest, wishing she could put them on her face. She was, once again, blushing furiously. "I-I can't let you do that…"

"It's fine, it's nothing I haven't done before, and I'm supposed to clock out at 2 today. You could go out and grab a few things… and I can cook for the two of us. We could…" He fidgeted his fingers, but seemingly ended up deciding to finish his sentence, "catch up?"

Since Caitlin was already emotionally confused by this whole situation, his offers somehow oversaturated her brain, causing it to switch to autopilot. "What should I grab?"

"All the ingredients required to make your favorite dish, since I doubt Ralph has anything in his fridge."

Her tone turned teasing. "What makes you think you can make my favorite dish?"

He wagged his eyebrows. "Well, there's this very accessible database called YouTube..." Caitlin chuckled, and he flashed her a smile in response. "See you at 2:30?"

"Sure."

"Okay."

Before opening the front door, Barry turned around one more time to look at her, and that image somehow got overlapped by another quick memory: _He was standing next to his open car door, in his prom suit, with a longing look she was reciprocating from her parents' porch._

"Damn!"

Caitlin snapped out of her daydreaming and quickly realized that Barry had bumped into Ralph's closed front door.

"This thing," he groaned, grabbing the door knob. "I forgot to turn it." He opened the door and stepped outside. "That's how doors work. Crazy, right?" he continued, peeking inside and winking at her, causing her to giggle again. "Hey." She looked up to meet his eyes, and his gaze softened. "Welcome back."

Caitlin gratefully nodded before he closed the door behind him, and watched his silhouette fade as he made his way to the stairs.

It wasn't until she couldn't distinguish him anymore that panic truly struck her.

What had just happened?

"Oh, my God," she muttered to herself, stressfully. "What was I thinking? What the hell was I thinking?"

Just like that, Caitlin had complicated an already complicated trip even more. It hadn't occurred to her that she would run into Barry within her first two hours in Central City. It hadn't even occurred to her that she would run into Barry at all! Catch up? For what? To tell him about her unrealistic goals? To reminisce their high school days? If that was the case, some things they never got to clarify were going to come up. What were they going to talk about that wasn't awkward? Their lab reports?

She had somehow made peace with the idea of turning Ralph's place into a hospitable environment again, but she didn't know how she felt about doing so while handling herself in front of her still-very-cute former classmate.

She fished out her phone from her pocket and called Ralph.

"Hey, what's up?" he greeted her, picking up almost immediately. "I'm still on the train, I had to take the 9 AM one. I guess you arrived already. I forgot to mention that my place might look a little…"

Caitlin's uneasiness was replaced with anger when she was reminded of the mess surrounding her. "Ralph, seriously, would it have killed you to clean the day before?" she scolded him. "I can't believe you let me find the place like this! You're such a…"

Her speech went on for over two minutes as she recited a long list of microorganisms he was probably farming in that apartment and lectured him on self and mutual respect.

"Feel better?" Ralph asked, and Caitlin could picture him shrinking in his seat.

"I thought you were robbed!" she repeated, hysterically. "I called the police!"

"I know, you just yelled that at me twice-"

"I spent the whole day yesterday cleaning my house _for you_!"

"I know, I know, and I am very sorry. I was out all-day running errands, plopped into my bed when I got home and fell asleep."

Caitlin drew in a breath. "Anyway." Her rant had given her enough time to think of a way of talking about her recent visitor more casually. "Barry Allen showed up with the police officer and told me that this is how your place usually looks like."

For some reason, Caitlin wanted to know more about Ralph's friendship with Barry without sounding too curious. As far as she remembered, those guys didn't even know each other in high school.

"Ugh, of course Saint Allen showed up," Ralph said, with disdain.

Caitlin blinked. "You're not a fan?" she asked, confused. "He made it sound like you two were pretty close now."

Ralph huffed. "Of course we are close. He is just… too good, you know? So good that I sometimes want to be terrible to him, so he goes out and finds better friends or something." He let out a sigh. "Wait a sec, is he there with you?"

"No, he left, but… he offered to help me clean up your apartment later."

"Do _what_ now?"

"And cook lunch for the two of us."

Ralph chortled, sassily. "Oh, that's… so nice of him."

Caitlin was fully conscious of what she was doing and she hated herself for it, and she also dreaded the void of disappointment that came with Ralph's one-liners. What had she expected? That Barry had mentioned her to him? About something that had happened nine years ago?

"I… I shouldn't have accepted, though," she continued. "I feel like an idiot now. We haven't seen each other in nine years..."

"Didn't he take you to prom after you broke up with Hunter Zolomon?" Ralph wondered.

Caitlin's heart skipped a beat. "Yeah, but we haven't been in contact or anything, it was a weird thing to agree to."

"Right."

Mid call was definitely a bad time to realize Ralph couldn't help her, because she had never told him about Barry. She had never told anyone about Barry, honestly. That whole thing had become her best kept secret. A night with a boy who never made it into conversations about love stories, because theirs had ended before even starting. A perfect memory, yet too painful to share or think about.

And she was just too proud to start now, especially since it sounded like these two had never talked about her at all.

"So, he offered to clean my apartment," Ralph repeated.

"So?" Caitlin exclaimed, recognizing a deductive note in his voice.

But he just chuckled in response. "Never mind."

" _Ralph_."

"Fine. Haven't you thought that, I don't know, he didn't think it was a weird thing to offer?"

"I mean, obviously, since _he offered it_."

"Yes, I know… but _maybe_ it wasn't weird to him for some _specific reason_."

Caitlin arched her eyebrows and sat behind the same desk he had called her from two days before. "And that reason would be…?"

"I don't know, I'm just hypothesizing… maybe he remembers that night a little differently than you do?"

"How so?"

"Just… differently." Ralph laughed to himself. "Don't mind me, I guess I'm just trying to say… Barry is a good guy. He likes helping people, just let him."

The doctor suddenly felt way less overwhelmed about Barry's visit that afternoon. Ralph was right, maybe she was looking too much into it. Not for the reasons she made him believe she was, but it was still true. Barry had just found her in his buddy's apartment and felt the need to clean up his mess, quite literally.

He was just being Barry, just like she remembered him.

_Seventeen-year-old Caitlin was hiding behind a big chemistry book, well aware of the group of sophomores giving her sporadic looks from the other side of the library. She had thought about leaving, but there was really no place to hide until the last period._

_She then felt someone sitting next to her._

" _Hey," Barry softly greeted, obviously in the know._

" _It spread that quickly, huh?" Caitlin assumed, because she didn't recall seeing Barry among the people that witnessed her fight with Hunter in the middle of the hallway._

_He left his bag on the table and sat sideways on the chair to face her, without an ounce of judgement on his face. "Are you okay?_

_Caitlin took a minute to think, just realizing she hadn't shed one tear since the incident. "Yeah, it's just…" - she side-eyed him, his smiling face providing her instant comfort - "he cheated on me, and somehow I'm the one who feels ashamed. I have always loved to go unnoticed, and now my last days of school will be filled with weird looks and rumors," she confessed._

_Barry nodded, sympathetic. "I'm gonna kick his ass."_

_Caitlin bit her lip and put the book down. "Don't…"_

_But he shook his head, nonchalantly. "I can't, actually. He is a freaking giant. I was just trying to make you laugh."_

_And she did. Not because she thought he couldn't take Hunter, but because that's exactly how he made her laugh: when he wasn't trying. "Barry…"_

" _How about you think about the worst thing he could find in his locker? I'll put it there."_

_Caitlin gave him a leveled look, trying to hide her amusement. "How about" - she put the open chemistry book between them on the table - "you just sit here with me?"_

_Barry tilted his head and searched her eyes, a small smile forming on his lips. "I can just sit here with you."_

_Caitlin chuckled as he straightened himself up on his chair and started reading. She inadvertently let her head rest on his shoulder and looked down at the book, more concentrated on the fluttering sensation in her stomach than science._

"Definitely a good guy," Caitlin conceded, with a longing. "I'll call you tomorrow, okay? I have to go to the grocery store."

"You might want to get some bleach and dish soap," Ralph supplied.

The doctor took a deep breath to prevent herself from yelling a little more. "I have plenty of that in my kitchen so, please, keep my house clean."

"Cross my heart. For what is worth, I did clean the bathroom yesterday morning."

"Thank God. Bye."

"Bye."

Caitlin left her phone on the desk and, considering that piece of information Ralph had provided, headed to the bathroom to freshen up before going out.

* * *

Ralph sat back, rested his feet on the empty seat in front of him and started a new game of _Sonic: The Hedgehog_ on his phone. He had just ended a call with his friend Caitlin, who had just comically run into a sort of old flame of hers, and he had almost given too much away. People could ask, why pretend not to know that two of your best friends made out nine years ago? What was the big deal, considering how many people usually made out for the first time on prom night?

Well, Ralph was sure that he was about to go over those reasons in a minute, because another phone call had just interrupted his game.

_Barry Allen calling._

"Oh, for God's sake," he whined, taking the call. "Hey, buddy, what's up?"

"You scared me to death today," he said, in that raspy, serious and surprisingly manly voice of his.

"I heard."

"I didn't know you were out of town…"

Ralph wheezed. He was so dramatic. "Barry, I already told you that if I wanted a wife, I would get married."

"I got a call saying that your place was robbed."

"I know, Caitlin already yelled at me." His eyes widened mischievously at the memory of that recent call. "Which reminds me, one meet-cute and you guys already have a date?"

Ralph had to keep it together when he heard something similar to a choking noise coming out his friend's mouth. "Did she tell you that?"

"No, but that was fun." He covered his mouth with his hand, trying to compose himself. "She is completely oblivious to whatever you're trying to do."

"What are you talking about?"

"Barry…"

"I'm just helping."

"Dude, come on. I was there with you at the bar, remember? After Patty dumped you?"

"Not really…"

"I know you do."

Oh, there it was, that a night off duty replaying in Ralph's head.

Two years ago, Barry had abruptly gotten out of a two-year-old relationship and asked Ralph to meet him at a local bar. By the time he made it there, his friend was already horribly wasted. Of course, tucking Drunk Barry in bed was enough of a reason to have that night engraved in his memory, but the real shocker came when the poor thing cried himself to sleep over _another girl_. A girl who wasn't his recent ex-girlfriend. Ralph had already braced himself to hear about Patty for the next six months, so imagine his surprise when Barry confessed an old crush on his childhood friend, Caitlin Snow, and rambled on about the time he took her to prom, kissed her for the first (and the last) time on the dance floor, and then refrained from telling her how he really felt, because she would leave for college the next day.

Even though that was the only time Barry had ever mentioned her to him, Ralph started understanding his friend better after that night. Barry might have not provided _that much_ information, but it seemed that experience had left him with some sort of sense of path-not-taken in the love department.

"Why do you keep bringing that up? I was drunk," Barry clapped back.

"And yet, you immediately knew what I was talking about," Ralph pointed out, humorously. "You remember what you told me, right?"

"Shut up."

"Dude, it's okay."

"What's okay?"

"Feeling whatever you are feeling." As much as Ralph hated sappy talk, he tried his best to sound understanding. "Even if it's been a while," he added.

"I don't know what I'm feeling."

"Let me help you: Why did you offer to help her clean _and_ cook?"

"I just… I guess I had nothing else to do there and it just…came out."

Ralph smiled. "So, you just want to spend time with her?"

Barry swallowed. "God, she must think I'm a creep…"

"She doesn't, she was just slightly embarrassed that she accepted because… you know, it's my place and all," Ralph consoled him, not wanting to say that Caitlin had acted like they had barely known each other back in the day. Knowing her, she had probably lied about what that night meant to her, considering that her panic-call had been fairly similar to Barry's, but they both sounded so unsettled by their arrangement that maybe it was time to introduce a solution for this predicament. "You know? I could call my cleaning lady, leave you off the hook if you want…"

Barry groaned. "I…"

"If you want."

Ralph could almost hear the engines working inside his friend's brain.

"Oh, my God. You don't want me to," he mocked him, writhing in his seat. "You're _still_ into her, aren't you?"

"I'm not, I haven't spoken to her in nearly a decade," Barry grumbled. "Who pines after someone for that long?"

" _You_ , apparently." He heard him scoff. "Will I ever learn the whole story, though? You kinda left me hanging two years ago."

"It doesn't matter."

"So, should I call the cleaning lady?"

"No, no. I told her I would do it. Plus, I…" Barry sighed. "I kind of need to know."

"Know what?"

"I don't know yet."

Ralph facepalmed. "Good luck with that." He craned his neck to look through the window, realizing that the train had entered the station. "I gotta go. Good luck with everything. And I'm sorry."

"Bye, man."

"You know? If I had known ahead that Caitlin was all it took for you to clean my apartment, I would've invited her over sooner."

For the first time during that phone exchange, Barry laughed. "I hate you."

"I know. Bye."

Ralph put his phone back in his pocket, stretched up a bit and got out of his seat, feeling the excitement for a new case rushing through his veins, weirdly combined with an unfamiliar void in his stomach.

The void of knowing that nothing emotionally more interesting than what his friends were going through was ever going to happen to him.


	2. Chapter 2

"Here we go," Caitlin sighed, as she put a surgical mask over her face and stuck her hands inside a brand-new pair of rubber gloves.

After med school, she never thought she would ever be grossed out by something ever again, but the sight of Ralph's sink was making her wince.

Although the supermarket was just a few blocks away, she had so much to get, and the line to pay was so long that it had taken her a good while to return. She still had twenty minutes before Barry arrived and she really wanted to spare him from that one task.

In a rush of bravery, Caitlin took one step forward and carefully inspected the objects in the sink. Surprisingly, there was nothing smelly nor pieces of food. In fact, the time that had passed between the last wash and now had been her biggest ally, because most of the sauce and liquid stains on the plates and cups were dry.

Caitlin felt her body relaxing as she started washing, wondering how it was possible to accumulate this amount of stuff by ordering take-out that could be eaten directly from the containers.

Once she finished washing, she found a clean cloth hanging from the oven handle, dried everything and put it back in the cabinets. She even had time to clean the kitchen counters and unpack her groceries before hearing a knock on the door.

"Hey," Barry greeted her when she opened the door. He had changed into a shawl collar sweater and had a paper bag in his arms. "Um, hi?" he said then, eyeing her weirdly.

Caitlin quickly took the surgical mask off her face, embarrassed. She was so used to having one on that she had forgotten about it.

"I was doing Ralph's dishes," she explained, discreetly fixing her hair and putting the mask in the back pocket of her jeans.

Barry grinned. "Makes sense." He stepped inside the apartment and closed the door behind him. "I thought I had accidentally scheduled a checkup." He left the paper bag on the kitchen counter and turned to her, narrowing his eyes. "You're a doctor, right? Did that happen?"

Although her career of choice wasn't a hard thing to remember, Caitlin felt a rush of affection towards him. Especially because he had just assumed it before making sure.

"Ye-Yeah," she sloppily confirmed, barely fathoming that they were supposed to talk now. "I'm a doctor."

Barry cracked a smile. "So, Caitlin Snow became a doctor and Barry Allen is a CSI. What a great day in history!" he joked, notoriously more loosen up than earlier. He even leaned back against the counter and crossed his arms. "It's still Snow, right?" he asked then.

Caitlin's head snapped up. "Um, yeah." And, even though that was good enough of an answer, her mouth kept running. "I'm not married, if that's what you mean."

Barry's eyes widened for a split second. "Oh." He nodded, pensive. "Me neither."

"Good. I mean-" She briefly closed her eyes and then opened them again, blinking rapidly. "Or _bad_ , depending on how you feel about marriage," she supplied.

He let out a squeaky giggle. "I'm _good_. I like being single."

"Yeah, yeah. Me too."

The rush of adrenaline she felt from delivering that short, but carefully crafted answer indicated that her amygdala had just tricked her into revealing that she was single, too. But she couldn't tell if that brain structure had generated an automated response or the social processing function had concluded that Barry had also slipped that detail on purpose.

The only thing she knew was that that silence had taken over the room again. Caitlin noticed Barry's initial casualness beginning to crack, and she knew she couldn't blame it on the last time they had seen each other anymore. It was her uneasy demeanor that seemed to be rubbing off on him.

Every person Caitlin had bonded with in her life knew that it took her a little bit to warm up to new people, but Barry had already gone through that process with her once and she was now treating him like he was a ghost.

However, he suddenly clapped his hands once, enthusiastically breaking through the awkwardness. "So, since we have to clean first and cook later, I brought some snacks," he informed, pointing at the paper bag. "You're not a vegan, right?" Caitlin shook her head, and he sighed in relief. "Oh, great. I wanted to text you asking you, but then I realized I don't have your number, since we just... I am not asking for your number, by the way," he quickly clarified. "I just didn't have it, so I couldn't ask if you were a… vegan." He pressed his eyes close in frustration. "I am doing that again."

Caitlin stared at him in amusement, suddenly forgetting her own anxiety. "Well, it would be practical if you had it, since I am here and all that," she said, raising her phone out of instinct, but she stopped in her tracks before unlocking it. "Not that I thought you were asking for it, I just... You're here, I am here-"

"I know-"

"-and I don't know anyone else here-"

"-yeah-"

"-not that I wouldn't hang out with you if I did-"

"-hey-"

"-you don't need to hang out with me, by the way-"

"-Caitlin."

She instantly closed her mouth as that one word reached her ears. He had spoken softly, almost whispered, but the sound of her name was somehow louder in his lips.

It had always been.

"Is this weird?" Barry asked, bluntly. "Do you want me to leave?"

"Yes… No!" Caitlin uttered out, covering her mouth with both hands and doing a little trot in her place.

Barry knitted an eyebrow and gave her an unsure smile as he witnessed her mini meltdown.

Caitlin took her hands off her mouth and then put them on her lap, determined.

" _It is_ a little weird," she conceded, smiling warmly to compensate for that confession, "but _no_ , of course I don't want you to leave."

Barry threw her a dubitative look as he took one step towards her, uncrossed his arms and stretched out one in her direction, palm open. Caitlin watched it in confusion, until he gestured her to approach him. She took a deep breath and placed her palm over his, and he wrapped her hand with his long fingers.

She felt her swirling insides beginning to relax under his warmth, like she had been just cold and not anxious.

"It's _me_ ," Barry simply stated, tapping his chest with his other hand. "It's just me."

Caitlin allowed his eyes to meet hers, and he gave her a crooked, soft smile. How could he still do this? How could he switch from an adorable dork to a confident, understanding man in a matter of seconds? Most importantly, how was _this_ working?

"You still have trouble accepting help, huh?" Barry observed, pointing at the now empty sink with his head.

Caitlin accidentally scoffed. Yeah, that was partially true, but he seemingly had no clue of why she was really a mess. Why would he, though? She was the one who couldn't process it had been nine years and not twenty-four hours since they had last seen each other. They both had been through nine years' worth of places, experiences and people. How they had left things off didn't matter anymore, just the fact they once shared a bond.

Maybe she should focus on that?

"And you still like coming to my rescue," she added, trying to show him that she remembered things too. "Don't you have a city to fly over or something? A kitten to get down from a tree?"

Barry chuckled, pleased. "There she is," he declared.

"I'm serious."

"You must be the only person who has ever thought of me as a superhero."

"I'm sure Ralph does too."

"Oh, does he now?"

"In his own, Ralph kind of way." She rolled her eyes. "You know? I just found out that you guys are friends, so we talked a little bit about you on the phone earlier…" She laughed at the sly grin that appeared on his face after she said that. "I can tell you've been a good friend to him… especially since you know _where everything goes_."

Barry immediately understood what she was implying. "Yeah, when he was expelled from the force… that was kind of a dark time, I was here a lot…" He pressed his lips together. "He's difficult, I wouldn't expect him to admit that he needs me."

"God, he is proud..."

"So proud… unlike me." He palmed her hand with his other one. "So, regarding your worries, I just wanted to say: I'm not here just to help you clean, I actually want to spend time with my old friend… if that's okay."

Caitlin tilted her head questioningly, and Barry gave her a knowing look. "Oh, you mean me."

Barry took another step closer and grabbed her other hand. She almost lost her breath for a second but, once he gave that hand a light squeeze, she realized that she had been shaking.

He then looked down at her with half-lidded eyes. "Yes, I mean you," he murmured, good-naturedly.

Despite feeling slightly confused by his proximity, Caitlin naturally interlocked their fingers, chasing more of his warmth, thinking how it was so ironic to seek comfort in the same thing that was making her blood pressure rise.

It was like Barry's words were somehow making her feel less inadequate. He had called her his friend, meaning that at least some of their feelings of familiarity were mutual. Maybe not this one in particular, since he probably acted this way with anyone who needed reassuring, whereas she couldn't remember the last time she felt this… cozy? But still, it was nice.

She looked up at him again, giving him her most genuine smile. "Fine by me," she muttered, fondly.

Right when their eyes met more directly, Barry drew in a sharp breath and stepped back. "So," he intoned, letting go of her hands and clumsily grabbing the paper bag behind him. "Egg roll?"

"Egg…? Oh." Caitlin giggled, a little late to that new exchange. "Yes, thank you."

Barry opened the bag and handed her an egg roll and a napkin. "I'm sorry, I was super late, and my Chinese place was the only thing without a long line."

Caitlin shrugged, gratefully. "I love egg rolls and I was starving. Thank you so much."

Barry took one for himself out of the bag and bumped it into Caitlin's. "Cheers?"

She imitated him. "Cheers."

* * *

Although Caitlin didn't want to think that much about it, as they ate and exchanged a few sentences about health and greasy food, she noticed Barry slightly lost in thought. Had their tiny display of intimacy made him that uncomfortable? Or did he still not feel welcomed enough?

This switch only became more obvious as they went to different sides of the apartment to start cleaning, when the talking reduced to questions and answers that were only related to the task they were on.

Caitlin cursed herself. Daily human interaction was hard enough for her already, and it seemed like they had already ventured too far into the personal approach. What was the right course of action now? How else do you treat the person that was the closest to you once, but now had been a stranger for nine years? Should she grant that much power to a time-gap they hadn't spent together and act distant and composed? Or should she, once again, pretend there was nothing between then and now, even though that hadn't gone well?

How do you balance facts and heart?

Her fast train of thought was interrupted, to her surprise, by Barry's singing voice. He had silently listened to the rest of the music they had playing on Ralph's Bluetooth speaker, but this was clearly one song he really liked. Caitlin stole a few glances at him as she picked up the trash from the floor, impressed by the way he rapidly moved from one task to another, twirling and whistling the instrumental breaks.

" _You analyze everyone you meet,_

_but get no sign,_

_love ain't kind_ …"

She smiled to herself. There was just something about him, an overflowing optimism that always seemed to be overcompensating for an underlying, nagging sadness. And he would easily infect some people - and annoy others - with that energy, the kind that came from someone who had chosen to believe that things eventually get better.

The time gap weighed a little more in Caitlin's chest in that moment, when she realized she had no idea what he had been through this past decade. But things never get easier, yet he was spending his weekend helping her clean his irresponsible friend's apartment and happily singing while doing it.

What had nine years done besides making him better?

"What?" he asked, looking up, after he was done putting away Ralph's clothes in the drawers and changing the bedding.

Since she had already kind of got used to his presence, Caitlin didn't mind being caught watching him. "Nothing, it's just… you always sang so well," she remembered, "but you never joined any clubs or anything."

He rushed to her side, grabbed the empty plastic bag she had left nearby and held it open for her. "I never liked standing out."

She quietly thanked him and started putting the trash she had piled up inside the bag. "I think you tried to teach me once."

He raised his eyebrows in acknowledgment. "Yeah, but you never let me hear one sound come out of you."

"Because I sucked."

"Past tense? How about now?"

Caitlin crushed the last beer can. "I guess we will never know."

"Nah. Come on." Barry started singing the new song that was playing and gestured her to tag along. "Come on," he insisted.

She snorted, eyeing him judgmentally. "No."

Barry stuck his lower lip out and even did a little dance in his place, but Caitlin humorously wiggled her head again and took the plastic bag from his hands to close it.

"Is there any reason why you wanted to make Ralph's bed?" Caitlin asked, having a sudden and awful idea. "He doesn't sleep with hookers, does he?"

Barry laughed. "No, not at all," he casually answered, like it wasn't that crazy to ask. "And he doesn't bring girls over, either."

Caitlin nodded, not entirely satisfied with the answer. Not because it didn't relieve her to learn that Ralph probably didn't have any STDs, but because she hadn't learned anything new.

She twisted the handles of the trash bag, apprehensive. "He never tells me anything, you know?" she admitted.

Barry cocked his head to the side. "Um?" he mumbled.

"Ralph." Her eyes diverted to the few diplomas and pictures hanging from the walls and then back to Barry. "Is he… doing well?"

He sighed. "I think that he got so comfortable with this new life that he doesn't like anyone to get too close. Hey." Barry noticed the hurt on her features after he delivered that statement and proceeded to correct himself. "It's not personal. I find out about stuff solely because I'm around, but he doesn't tell me anything either. You might have noticed I didn't even know he was out of town."

"Did something else happen to him after the precinct scandal?"

"No, no… but I do think he's still recovering from that."

She let out a frustrated huff. "Sorry, you don't need to tell me anything that he hasn't…"

"It's fine, I bet it's not much… but, in my opinion, what he needs right now is a big win. Something that makes him feel worthwhile again. Or someone," he added, with a smirk.

Caitlin silently agreed. Although she was a big believer in self-improvement and its importance to sustain a relationship, whenever she thought about Ralph, she wondered if an actual relationship could help his self-improvement, because he had never cared about anything more than himself.

"He refuses to date, though," Caitlin commented then.

"You can choose not to date. But… falling in love is a different story," Barry said, letting out a small chuckle in reaction to his own cheesiness. "He won't know what hit him when that happens. Now, he might choose not to take the opportunity or there might not be an opportunity at all, but that… tha-that feeling will change him." He looked down at her, took a deep breath and continued that line of thought. "Hopefully he'll have that choice."

And, just like that, they were accidentally talking about relationships again. Barry scratched the back of his head, without taking his eyes off her, even though he was done talking. Caitlin shrunk under his gaze, wondering how much of his own experience had slipped into his speech and if he regretted it now. Of course, among the nine years of his life she had missed, there were probably a few love stories. And, considering his vision, they were probably sadder than hers, which had been mostly meaningless.

"Hey! We are… done!" Barry announced, all of sudden, joyfully gesturing at the surroundings with his arms.

Caitlin looked around the newly neat apartment, barely believing it. "We are," she agreed, turning to him in amazement. It had only taken them an hour. "Thank you, Barry," she let out, wholeheartedly.

"You're welcome." He crouched down, rolled up the carpet and picked it up in his arms. "The vacuum cleaner is in the closet in Ralph's bedroom. You can vacuum the floors while I wash this in the bathtub."

Caitlin bit her lip, reluctant. "Barry, you don't have to do that."

"It's okay, it's the last thing." He got inside the bathroom and raised his voice to keep talking to her. "Did you get stuff for me to cook?"

_Right_ , Caitlin remembered. She took one step towards the bathroom to insist that she could handle herself from there, but stopped in her tracks, breathing deeply.

She then reminded herself that Barry had already made it clear that he not only wanted to help her, but also wanted to _catch up_. A normal, human concept that Caitlin had trouble understanding – considering her difficulty to keep people in her life and socializing for the sake of doing it – but it wouldn't hurt to explore. Granted, things had been slightly uncomfortable before, yet he still wanted to be there.

And it would have been pointless to pretend she didn't want him to.

"Yeah, I did," she yelled back, heading to the exit to throw out the trash before vacuuming.

* * *

"Sooo, what did you bring from the supermarket?" Barry asked fifteen minutes later, entering the kitchen with his sleeves rolled up. "I'm up for the challenge."

Caitlin showed him the neatly organized ingredients on the kitchen counter, trying to keep her eyes from diverting to his forearms or the area where the sweater's sleeves tightened over his biceps. Had he joined the gym?

"Flour, eggs, butter, tomato sauce, cheese, ham… pineapple?" Barry listed, turning to her. "Hawaiian Pizza?"

Caitlin drew in a quick breath, impressed by his agile deduction, and then bobbed her head, feeling a little guilty for pitching something they could have simply ordered.

Barry blinked. "Your favorite food is Hawaiian Pizza?" he asked again.

The sardonic note in his voice made her cross her arms in playful challenge. "Is there a problem?" she asked him, trying to tame her smirk.

"No, no…" He shook his head, cackling. "I just somehow knew you'd like something common, yet unconventional."

"Why?"

"I remember you being unpredictable, in a good way. That's all."

"What's so unpredictable about pineapple on pizza?"

"I wouldn't expect pizza to be… _sweet_. But I like it when it is."

He winked at her, and Caitlin didn't know if he had tried to indirectly compliment her or said the first thing that had come to mind because he was worried to offend her, even about something that stupid.

Both options sounded like Barry things to do.

Caitlin cleared her throat. "What's _your_ favorite food?" she wondered, changing the subject.

"Tacos," he answered, grabbing a big bowl from underneath the counter and starting to mix flour, butter and eggs to make the pizza dough.

"Not fancy yet spicy?" She cringed at her own joke as Barry turned to her with wide eyes, making her blush. "I think I suck at this game."

He pushed the bowl towards her and gave her the ladle, so she could stir the mix for him. It looked like he was trying hard not to laugh. "You think I'm spicy?"

Caitlin glared at him as she worked the dough. "I thought we were talking about food…"

"At some point, we correlated our own qualities to our favorite food's qualities…" He opened a cabinet and found a cooking roller at first try. "I said you were unpredictable, and you translated that into your food preferences."

"Yes, but then I was just trying to make a rhyme."

"You didn't clarify."

"I am clarifying now."

"Too late."

"So, I am sweet?"

"Am I spicy?"

Caitlin snorted in surrender. "Sure, whatever that means."

He smeared flour on the kitchen counter and requested the bowl back. "Now I don't quite know what to do with that title."

She rolled her eyes, naturally inclined to continue the banter. "Like every time you ever tried to outsmart me on something."

Barry scoffed and hit the counter with the dough in fake exasperation. "I never tried to outsmart you. I just… enjoyed waiting to hear what you would say next," he completed smoothly.

Caitlin stared at him in comical disbelief. If this was any other guy, she would have thought he was hitting on her. "And you still do?"

"After you asked what my favorite food was just to make a cooking rhyme? Definitely." He flashed her a quick smile and then concentrated on shaping the pizza dough into a ball. "Same old Caitlin."

Caitlin looked down and twirled her hair around her finger, biting down on her lip to keep herself from smiling. Earlier, she had shown him that she still thought of him as someone with a hero complex – since the moment he had confided her his reasons to become a CSI, so many moons ago – and it pleased her to remember that, despite seeing her so focused on serious matters, he had always thought that she was somewhat fun. Heroic and fun were not the kind of qualities you would expect from two high school nerds, they were the kind of thing you only learned about yourself by hanging out with a special kind of people.

Barry wasn't hitting on her, he just had always liked to make people feel seen.

"You're still way very witty and preachy," she commented in response. "In a good way, of course," she added, sassily.

Barry gave her a sidelong glance. "Would I have gotten to know you were _sweet_ if I wasn't?" he wondered, his smirk getting longer.

Caitlin sighed, looking up and pretending to meditate the answer for a few seconds. "Probably not."

_The advanced Science class had ended about three minutes ago and Barry and Caitlin were the only ones left in the lab._

" _It's not funny," Barry scolded Caitlin, unable to sound serious._

_Caitlin, who had been trying hard to put her things back in her backpack without bending over laughing, swiped away her tears. "I-I can't believe you tried to…" she rasped out, finally managing to hold back the giggles._

"… _refill an alcohol burner while it was still lit? Yes. It caught fire and I tried to put it out with my lab coat, which also caught fire." He watched her doing her best not to crack up again. "Science and Barry, love at first… firefight." Caitlin snorted, and Barry apologetically cocked his head in response. "I thought the entire school knew about me."_

" _Honestly, I didn't."_

_He leaned his back against the table, jokingly frowning. "That's oddly disappointing."_

_Even though Caitlin had been trying hard, she couldn't remember Barry from the three years she had spent in high school. Not even his name sounded familiar._

" _How is it possible, though?" she wondered, scrunching up her eyes at him. "That I don't remember seeing you. Have we been in the same classes?"_

" _Yes, a few," he declared._

" _Why don't I remember you?"_

_Barry smiled at the ground, then glanced at her again. "You probably have more relevant things to focus on."_

" _Well, I'm glad we're together in this particularly relevant thing."_

_Caitlin finally put on her backpack, but didn't attempt to leave. That last statement was true. It had only been their first class together, but Barry already looked like someone who took school seriously, especially Science class. Since her freshman year, it had been difficult to find people to work with that helped her with the heavy lifting in group or duo projects. The few times they had finished each other's sentences also suggested that he read for fun._

" _I noticed you're very careful with the samples," she commented, not being able to help her curiosity. "Are you interested in microbiology?"_

" _Forensic science," he answered, proudly. "I actually wanted to be a cop as a kid, but my dad is a doctor and I have been surrounded by test tubes my whole life so… the rest is history." He shrugged. "What about you?"_

" _Actually, my dad is a doctor too. So, I want to become a doctor… like him."_

_Barry nodded. "But?"_

_Caitlin's eyebrows jumped up. "But…?"_

" _You hesitated for a little bit there."_

_Had she, really? She had never really questioned going to med school, but it was also true that her mind was constantly running imaginary future projects, so many of them that the years of education she still had left already felt like a prison._

" _It's not all I want to be," she admitted, out loud. "I want to… make something after that."_

" _Like… the cure for cancer?" Barry ventured, very seriously._

_She huffed. "I wouldn't say that ambitious, but-"_

" _I was wondering, since you presented that genome editing project at the Science Fair last year..."_

_Caitlin parted her lips in surprise. "You know about that?"_

" _I mean, it was in the school paper-"_

" _No one ever reads the school paper."_

" _I do." And he looked surprisingly proud about that too. "You're already way ahead of our time."_

_Caitlin felt a subtle blush creeping up her cheeks. "I am not sure about that."_

" _What do you mean? It's brilliant! You presented an actual doable method-"_

" _Yes, but-"_

" _It's one hell of a breakthrough for a high school senior… a junior back then."_

" _It's all theoretical."_

_Barry crossed his arms over his chest, seemingly entertained by her modesty. "Isn't everything theoretical at first?"_

_Caitlin nodded in agreement and awkwardly stood there, exchanging glances with him. It just felt wrong to wave goodbye and leave the room after that bit of conversation, with the first person that had seemingly understood her Science Fair project besides Professor Stein. All she wanted to do was thank him, because the comments were making her feel overwhelmingly good, even if it was that kind of good that sometimes makes you want to stick your head in the sand._

" _I-I have to go," she informed, slightly disappointed in herself. "I have a lot of homework."_

_Barry grimaced. "But it's Friday," he argued, humorously._

" _Yeah, but…"_

" _Don't you want us do our homework together? I would love to hear more about the ARN injecting process…"_

_Caitlin checked her watch. "The library is closed."_

" _Maybe we could go to a coffeeshop?"_

_That friendly request took her by surprise. "I-I don't know…"_

_Barry kindly shook his head. "It's fine, you probably have plans with your boyfriend." His lips stretched, forming a brief, yet mocking smile. "You're dating Zolomon, right?"_

" _We don't have plans, he has football practice today-"_

_Barry put his palms up to appease her. "I also understand if he isn't okay with random dudes taking his girlfriend out for coffee."_

_Even though that supposition annoyed her, she didn't feel the need to clarify that Hunter didn't tell her what to do, because Barry wasn't implying that, just being innocently decent. However, her apprehension led her to consciously wonder how Hunter would react to her having a male friend besides Ralph, and she immediately concluded that it would be the kind of thing he would barely notice. Just like when she left parties early, changed her hair or missed one of his games._

_Caitlin sighed, giving in. "I could use more people taking me out for coffee, actually," she said, cracking a smile at the sight of Barry's winning grin. "Where do you want to go? Jitters?"_

_Barry swayed off the lab table and started walking by her side towards the exit. "Hell, no. I know a smaller, hipstery place where the coffee is so much better…" he said, breezily._

"Think fast!"

Caitlin froze in her place when 26-year-old Barry touched her cheek with his finger and smeared a little flour on it.

"Hey!" she cheekily protested, wiping it off with her sleeve.

"Earth to Caitlin," he giggled, grabbing the pineapple and a kitchen knife from the corner. "I lost you there for a second. What were you thinking about?"

Caitlin stammered. "You."

Barry turned to her so fast that he accidentally dropped the knife he was holding, which landed horizontally at his feet.

Caitlin urgently kneeled to pick it up, but Barry beat her to it. "You okay?" she asked him, examining his feet, since he was just wearing Converse sneakers.

"Yeah, yeah" he sheepishly answered, gesturing her to stand up. "I'm such an idiot, I'm so sorry…"

She smiled, kindly dismissing it. "I" - she carefully took the pineapple off the table and the knife off his hand – "will handle this now."

Barry welcomingly nodded, with no bite in his expression. "Wha-what…?" He cleared his throat to reformulate his question. "What was that about you thinking about _me_?"

Caitlin pulled the cutting board to her side and started chopping the pineapple, managing to keep it together. She hadn't had time to process before blurting out her answer, because she could still barely believe they were in a room together again.

"I was thinking about the day I met you," she admitted, making up a quick explanation in her head. "I told you I wanted to make something after I was done with med school."

"I remember," Barry said, attentively, leaning his back against the counter just like in her recent memory. "So, I guess the cure for cancer is out already, people are merging with machines and some broody underdog got superpowers."

Caitlin chuckled. "It's the same genome editing project, actually, but that's not what my research is focusing on at the moment." And she stopped right there, not really wanting to dive into what her research was focusing on. Not with someone she could open up with _too much_. "I came back to work on it at my mom's lab."

He wrinkled his forehead. "With your mom?"

"Yeah." She swallowed at his reaction. He probably remembered how her relationship with her mom was. "And my business partner is taking time off for personal reasons, so that's why I'm here alone."

"So, Ralph took a case and your friend is his client."

She flinched, not really knowing if it was her place to talk about that. "Yeah. He said it could take weeks to gather all the data, so…"

"Can you finish your research in a few weeks?"

There. The conversation had officially gotten complicated. "No, but it's a temporary job."

He looked notoriously confused but didn't push. "I see."

Caitlin returned her attention to the small cubes of pineapple she was cutting. She side-eyed Barry, noticing him lingering for a few seconds before grabbing the roller to start flattening the dough.

She felt a small void in her chest, a familiar sense of guilt from every time she had shut his chatty self out in the past. She also felt dumb for feeling it considering that, according to the time gap factor, they weren't as close as back then. Yet, he was definitely still good at minding his own business. And she still wasn't good at sharing things she wasn't sure about.

"I have a confession to make," Barry let out, in another clear attempt to break the ice. When Caitlin looked up, he tossed the dough up in the air, which safely landed on his other hand. "I" - he then passed it from one hand to the other, only fast enough to keep the trick impressive, but not to deform the circle – "am actually good at this."

In retaliation for her silence, Caitlin tried to look as amazed as possible. "You have to show me that YouTube tutorial," she mused.

"I worked at a pizza place for a while."

Caitlin's mouth dropped open in accusation. "That's so not fair! It was supposed to be a challenge!"

Barry cracked up at her judgy pose. "You should've heard the sigh of relief inside my head when I realized you just wanted pizza."

"I thought you were just pretending to know what you were doing."

"Hey, at least the food will be edible!"

"Obviously, since it was easy to make."

"So, you wanted to see me struggle and make fun of me."

"Nah, I can think of other ways of making fun of you."

"Oh, really?"

Caitlin stared at his humored face, trying to think of something, only for her chest to tingle at the beautiful sight before her. She couldn't even laugh at that beard he couldn't have grown ten years ago, because it made him look super distracting now. The dark facial hair made his green eyes stand out even more. It was criminal.

"It will come to me, eventually," she decided, evidently flustered, turning to the other side and pretending to check the kitchen drawers.

"You just don't have it in you," Barry prodded her, seemingly oblivious. "You're too nice."

" _You_ are too nice to make fun of."

" _You_ are so nice that you notice that I am too nice to make fun of." Something shifted in his expression, making it softer. "Basically, the nicest someone has ever been to me."

"Now you're exaggerating."

"I was a little bit of a push-over in high school. And you never took advantage of that."

Caitlin moved the pineapple pieces closer to him as he started placing the other pizza toppings. "You've cleaned and cooked for me today, I'd say that's officially not true anymore."

"The only reason why you accepted my help today is that you didn't want to hurt my feelings."

She stared at him sassily. "Would it have really hurt your feelings not to clean this place?"

He grinned. "No, not necessarily… but you certainly made an effort to have me here."

Caitlin's smile vanished as he insisted on that. Why did that matter now that their interactions had transitioned into something more organic? And how did they even jump to that point?

"Um, what do I owe this scrutiny?" she inquired, almost humorously.

"I just can't figure you out," Barry said, looking up from his task. "Not like I used to."

"What you said, it's true, I didn't want to bother you, but at the same time I also wanted to _catch up_. I wanted you here."

Barry took a few seconds to put the pizza in the pre-heated oven and then turned to her. "I believe you." However, there was an obvious 'but' coming next. "It just feels like something is different."

She breathed in, drawing out some of the annoyance that was starting to build up. "It's been nine years, Barry."

"Yeah, obviously, but… it's not that. There's like a back and forth. At times you look comfortable and then you don't." He turned serious, first indicator that the topic would only escalate from there. "Is there something bothering you?"

_Well, we kissed,_ Caitlin responded in her head. If Barry had felt just as familiar with her as she had felt with him that whole time, like no time had passed, there was just one thing that could have been _different_ or off between them and that was that unclear episode. Had Barry already let go of what had happened at prom or never really worried about it in the first place? Was she making a fool of herself by worrying about it too much, when it might have not meant anything to him?

She thought about how, back in college, she would alternately wonder what could have been between them, if she had really broken Barry's heart or if she was alone with these feelings. The worst part was that, no matter how ambiguous things had ever gotten between them, it was still an all or nothing kind of answer. And she wasn't sure if she wanted to know it now. If it was a no, her first love as she remembered it had been a lie. If it was a yes, that was confirmation that she had missed her shot.

Against all her scientific instincts, she preferred to stay uncertain about this one thing.

"Barry, I don't know what you expect me to do," Caitlin finally said, hating to get confrontational. "We already stated that this was weird because it's been so long…"

Barry rapidly shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair. "I'm sorry," he apologized, in obvious distress. "That was stupid. I'm so stupid-"

He had backtracked so fast from his point that Caitlin felt bad for being so forward. "Forget about it-"

"I'm just really happy to see you again-"

"I understand-"

"-you were my best friend-"

"-Cisco was your best friend-"

"-he is, but you were too." He sighed. "So, I guess I got too excited. I was always the emotional one, anyway," he continued, gloomily staring at his shoes.

Caitlin glanced at him, trying to hide the fact she was feeling the same longing, because she just couldn't afford even thinking about what could come out of this situation, especially with her emotions already running high. When she had wondered about how to interact with him earlier, she hadn't really expected him to verbalize that he wanted things to be as they once were. In fact, she thought that he was being casual and _she_ was being emotional. Now, the possibilities were crazy scary. Whether she had always been just a friend to Barry or something more, she was risking getting hurt again.

She might as well enjoy this time with him, because to keep hanging out was looking more and more like a bad idea. She wasn't going to be there for too long, and she had to focus on her work.

"Why don't you tell me how you and Ralph became friends?" Caitlin suggested, leaning towards the one thing they had in common that was easy to talk about.

Barry gave her an odd look, like he had expected her to finally kick him out. Then, like nothing had happened, he told her all about how Ralph and him were sent to the same precinct, didn't get along at first and then bonded over a very difficult case that got them working late nights in this same apartment, before it was turned into a P.I. office. By the time the pizza was ready, Barry had already reached the part of the story where Ralph had been kicked out of the force for indirect obstruction of justice. One alleged witness shared privileged information with him that led the detectives to a dead end, wasting enough time for a dangerous gang to leave the country. Turns out, the witness that had begged Ralph to keep her identity anonymous had provided a fake lead and was also the daughter of one of the members of the gang, and Ralph hadn't recognized her from the file.

"He must have been so ashamed," Caitlin commented, leaving her plate on the coffee table once she was done eating.

Barry chewed on his last bite of pizza and nodded. "Yeah, and we still haven't caught those perps," he said. "It was a rookie mistake, but he didn't deserve that kind of punishment and public humiliation, you know?"

Caitlin agreed with a nod, still shaken up from learning what had really happened after two years of hearing Ralph say that 'something had gone horribly wrong with a case'.

"That was really good, Barry. Thanks," Caitlin said, taking both plates and standing up to leave them in the sink.

He shook his head modestly. "No problem," he said, pulling out his phone to check the time. "I should get going, though. You're probably tired."

Caitlin leaned on the sink with her elbows, thinking. Even though she was still determined to maintain her decision not to keep in contact, she felt a deep sadness from realizing that she wouldn't have known how to do it, anyway. She wasn't a tourist who didn't know how to get by in the city, so she also didn't have a real reason to call him. Maybe he wouldn't even ask about it.

It was final.

However, when Barry got off the couch, he immediately bent over himself with a groan.

"What?" Caitlin exclaimed from the kitchen area, alarmed. "What happened?"

"Nothing, my leg stings," he answered, touching the outside of his right knee. "Oh, crap."

Barry lifted his hand and turned around to show Caitlin a very bloody palm. She ran to him, her googly eyes frantically looking for a wound. He sat on the futon again and bent his knee, and it was then that his black pants showed off a thin, yet very long slit in the fabric.

"The knife," Caitlin recalled, sitting on the couch and leaning forward to take a look. "You did cut yourself!" she reprimanded him.

"I didn't notice," he swored, stretching out his leg and turning it to the side to give her better access. "I thought it had just bounced off of me."

Caitlin's short examination allowed her to discard stitches. "Roll up your pants." She got off the couch and strode towards the bedroom. "I'm gonna get the first-aid kit."

"Ralph doesn't have a-"

"I brought one."

Barry lifted his hand in concession. "Of course you did."

Caitlin came out the room five seconds after entering with the first-aid kit in her hands. She sat in front of him, handed him a piece of cotton to clean his hands up, and then started disinfecting the wound, which was a superficial, yet nasty cut.

"It's fine, you don't have to patch it," Barry told her, trying to reach out to take the piece of gauze from her hand.

Caitlin classily slapped it away, casting him a look. "It's deep enough to get infected, I'm covering it up," she determined. "And you're going to change this patch tomorrow after you shower."

Barry leaned back, groaning in protest, causing a laugh to escape through Caitlin's professional façade.

It was when she was done that she saw it, sitting right at the front of his knee: a small, deep scar shaped as a multi-edged lightning bolt.

Caitlin looked up at him, stunned. "Is that…?" she wondered, a memory stronger than the others starting to shape inside her head, like a self-inflating balloon.

Barry sat up and craned his neck to glance at his own leg and then at her. "Do you remember how I got that scar?" he asked, instead of answering.

Caitlin's breath caught. She did. Of course she did.

_They were sitting together on the bleachers, right in front of the football field, bathed in the light from the lampposts on each side. Caitlin had offered to drive Barry home from the pizza place - where they had eaten with some people from their class to celebrate the last day of school - but he had insisted on stopping there before dropping him off._

" _It's really over, huh?" she commented, looking at her watch. They had been sitting there for ten minutes without saying a word._

" _Yeah," he sighed, his somber gaze lost somewhere in the distance._

_Caitlin turned to him, officially concerned by the fact he had nothing to add to her mundane declaration. "Are you okay?"_

" _Yeah. I'm just… overwhelmed, I guess."_

" _Why?"_

" _Because I didn't exactly love this place but, in a way, it was still my comfort zone." Barry turned his head to her, sporting a small smile, trying not to worry her. "And I know I have been preparing for the future and thinking about it, but… I don't feel ready."_

" _Not so much will change, if you think about it. You'll still be here in Central City, close to your family."_

" _Yeah, and Cisco will be here too." He looked up at her, his nostalgic eyes too heavy for a genuine smile this time. "You won't, though."_

_Her lips stretched into a sad smile. "We'll talk on Skype."_

_Barry chuckled at her practical answer. "I know. It was just a good time to tell you that I'm gonna miss you."_

_Caitlin reached out for his hand, which was laying between them, and held it. He instinctively reacted to the gesture, turning his hand to interlock their fingers, too used to her tendency to make physical contact before being able to come up with the right words._

" _I will miss you too," she let out, pressing her lips together to fight back the emotion. "I'm not gonna lie, school was a lot easier before meeting you," – His eyebrows rose up in a questioning expression – "because I had nothing I would miss," she continued, giggling._

_Barry swallowed, his pupils going up and down her face. "This circus definitely got better because of you," he declared, his voice notoriously trailing off. "Thank you for… taking my small ambitions seriously."_

" _You're going to do amazing out there. This" – she tapped her own temple with her free hand – "means nothing without this" – she rested her palm over his chest – "and you taught me that."_

" _Actually, the brain kinda controls our-" He stopped talking once Caitlin gave him a leveled look. "Wow, the roles reversed for a second."_

_They laughed together for a moment._

" _What about you? Are you gonna be okay out there?" Barry asked, stroking the back of her hand with his thumb._

_Caitlin's smiled teasingly. "Without you, you mean?" she queried._

" _Just… alone."_

_Caitlin teared her eyes away from him for the first time and fixed them on the bleachers in the opposite side of the field. "Yeah. I've always been, in a way."_

_Barry scoffed. "Is there anything you're afraid of? Because I think you need to take that Pottermore quiz again. You might be a Gryffindor and not a Ravenclaw."_

_Caitlin rolled her eyes. "One, Ravenclaw for life." She proudly hit her chest with her fist. "Secondly, of course I'm afraid of something."_

" _Yeah? What is it?"_

_She backtracked. "Isn't this conversation depressing enough already?"_

" _How can something that hasn't happened yet be depressing?"_

" _I didn't say it was a something that hasn't happened yet."_

" _What else could scare you? You're always thinking about the future."_

_Caitlin turned to him again, her eyes flickering to his adoringly. She could have gotten extremely cheesy and tell him how afraid she was of not feeling the warmth of his hand on hers, not seeing him approach her in his leather bomber jacket from the other side of the hallway or not being anywhere near him to talk or fix his James Dean hair. However, she decided to dig a little deeper. Not only because saying anything of the above would expose her, but also because this would be one of their last long conversations in a while._

" _Well, after seeing my dad struggling, I guess I'm afraid of… losing my mind, in a way," she confessed._

_Barry parted his lips. "Why?" he inquired._

" _Or maybe not losing my mind exactly, but not using my time wisely… and not getting to finish whatever I'm going to start." She looked away again, starting to feel some distress projecting in her voice. "What if I get stuck? Or what if I get hit by a truck and get brain damage? What if I get it from an infection? What if I lose the only thing that makes me useful to society?"_

" _Whoa, that escalated quickly."_

_Barry reached out and delicately turned Caitlin's face to him with his fingers. To her relief, he didn't look exactly concerned, just sympathetic and ready to deliver a pep talk._

" _Caitlin, you're a prodigy-" he started._

" _So? My dad was… he_ is _brilliant," Caitlin reminded him, interrupting him. "He had so much to give and he got ALS and frontotemporal dementia. Life is anything but fair in that sense."_

_He breathed heavily. "I'm so sorry I asked…"_

" _It's something I am constantly thinking about, anyway." She grabbed the hand he still had close to her face. "It felt good to let it out."_

" _That's what I'm here for." He scooted closer to her and softly rested his forehead on hers. "I do believe that the Universe is with you, though."_

_She sighed, contently reacting to his proximity. "How so?"_

" _You're too awesome."_

_Caitlin giggled. "You can't use the same argument every time."_

" _Fine… because I strongly believe the Universe placed you here with a mission." He raised their joint hands and gently tapped her chest. "You have too much of that. So, whatever you do with this" – he then tapped her temple – "will take a backseat. You're more than your intelligence, Cait."_

_Caitlin let go of his hands and rested her head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around her and placed a small kiss on her forehead. It was then, as she fought hard not to start crying, that she thanked every God that he hadn't asked what she would do without him, because she had no idea._

_She just wanted him to know she would miss him, too. "You know? I love Ralph. He and I are practically family, but we don't talk to each other all the time," she said. "I didn't know how much I needed someone to have my back until you did."_

" _Cut him some slack. I'm sure that kick he gave Hunter in the crotch during the last football practice wasn't an accident," Barry said, rubbing her back. "I was sitting here and heard the scream through my headphones."_

_She stared up at his chin. "You're defending my jock friend?"_

" _They can't be all bad… I mean, Dibny is your friend, and I am sure that even Hunter had his moments if you dated him for so long."_

" _He did. It wasn't all his fault."_

" _We both see the good in people." He looked down at her. "They might not always repay us, but… it's what we do."_

_Caitlin didn't know which one of them had leaned forward, as their faces were so close now that she could feel Barry's breath on her eyelashes and see her reflection in his eyes, in an already known intimate exchange they had had a few times. Nevertheless, this was the first time Caitlin wondered if, at that point, it would really matter to finally follow her heart and close that gap._

" _HEY! WHO IS THERE?!"_

_They both straightened up in their places with a jump. Before Caitlin could react, Barry had already jumped off the third row of bleachers._

" _The guard!" he exclaimed from the ground, extending his arms up to help her down._

" _What? You said he would be asleep!" Caitlin shrieked, sliding to the first row and sloppily landing in Barry's arms._

" _Well, guess what? He is very much awake tonight!" He grabbed her hand and urged her to the opposite side to where the guard's flashlight was pointing from. "Run, run!"_

_They left the football field behind and blindly sped to her car in the darkness, not knowing if they would be able to find a way out in that direction._

Caitlin's now watery eyes alternated between Barry and his leg. "You climbed the school fence as we tried to run away from the school guard," she recalled.

Barry nodded. "I landed on a rock," he added, keenly.

"There was so much blood. You were still bleeding through the bandage…"

"That's right, you were carrying bandages in your car…"

"And then your mom arrived at the emergency room and I had to explain to her what we were doing when it happened."

Barry wheezed. "God, she was so mad. I couldn't stop laughing from the pain meds, and you were in a corner blushing while she was reaming me."

He sat up on the couch and scooted closer to her, with an intensity in his eyes. Caitlin wondered if he had brought up that accident as a funny anecdote or, just like her, remembered the conversation as the real highlight of the night.

"I still danced at prom," he let out, smugly.

"You did," she remembered, biting down at her lower lip, the air feeling like cold water in her lungs.

Barry swallowed. His eyes had turned slightly red. "I-I had promised you-"

"That the last days of school would be the best ones."

His face relaxed into a hopeful expression. "Were they?"

She smiled faintly. "Yes."

They sat there in silence for a few seconds, in what looked like a contest of who could breath slower with so much emotion bubbling under the surface. Then, at some point, Caitlin felt overcome with an unusual sense of impulsivity: she reached out and gently tapped his chest, right over his heart.

Barry stared at her in awe, recognizing the gesture, or at least that's what it looked like through her unshed tears. "Hi," he chuckled out, breathily.

"Hi," she choked out, with a sniff.

Caitlin was the one to move first, though. She agilely leaned forward, snaked her arms around his waist and pulled her legs up on the futon, snuggling up against him. His arms encased her less than a second later. She buried her face in his sweater to keep her eyes dry, because it felt like some sort of emotional dam had broken inside of her.

They fell into another silence. Oddly, a comfortable one.

"Is this weird?" Barry whispered, close to her ear.

"No," she softly spoke, her fingers softly stroking his lower back. "Not at all."

After moving out from her parents' house, Caitlin had always considered Coast City her home, the first thing she wanted to go back to, where she liked to think most of the pieces of herself resided. Where she felt safe, just not loved. But now, even though she had just left that morning, the most recent memory of that house felt just as strange as the first night she had spent there.

And maybe she was jumping into things too fast but this, Barry patiently holding her in the same position and even resting his cheek against her temple, _this_ felt more like a place to go back to.

"I'm sorry I didn't call you back," she said, with an almost sob, going back to that first mistake on the road to becoming strangers.

"I'm sorry for calling you just once," he replied, readily.

Caitlin rolled her eyes, knowing he couldn't see her. "Can you please not top my apology?"

"I just did."

She gave him a playful shove as she got out of his embrace to look at him, without caring about looking a little flushed. "God, I have so much to tell you."

He smiled widely. "Me too. You have no idea." He reached out to hold her hands. "I'd love to stay, but I actually have to go see my parents."

"Oh."

"I told them I would be early today." He pouted adorably. "Now I wish I hadn't."

Although Caitlin felt slightly disappointed, she had already had the biggest change of heart ever registered, and was now determined to make that conversation happen, to _catch up_ with her friend.

She delicately let go of his hands. "You know what?" she decided, pulling out her phone from her back pocket and giving it to him. "Save your number."

He grinned fondly and pointed at her with her phone. "There's the bossiness," he noted.

"It has amplified over the years."

Barry chuckled as he typed on her phone. "Now, I'll just call myself once so I can save yours…"

But Caitlin quickly took the phone off his hands.

"I will call you," she promised, right when he started making a weird face.

Barry jokingly frowned. "You just triggered very unpleasant bar flashbacks," he said.

"I mean, I will call _first_ this time."

He smirked. "Okay."

She blinked at him. "Really? That easily?"

"I mean, if you regret it and block me, I kind of know where you're staying anyway."

They both got off the couch giggling. Instead of heading for the exit, Barry took one step closer and hugged her. Tight enough for their entire upper bodies to be in contact, yet with a gentleness she would only expect from him. She buried her face in his shoulder, trying to memorize whatever new smell he had, but it seemed that was one thing that hadn't changed. He had always smelled like something sweet and freshly-baked, like pastries.

"You stole a hug from me first," he murmured, giving her a loving squeeze.

Caitlin just closed her eyes in bliss. "I'm not complaining," she let him know, playing with the ends of his hair.

Although she knew that Barry had to leave, her grip on him wasn't loosening one bit. She couldn't even remember the last time she had hugged someone, let alone someone she used to hug so often. However, a loud knock on the door distracted her from her stubbornness.

"DAMN IT, DIBNY!"

In what felt like a very familiar situation, the duo separated, startled, and turned to the door in perfect sync.

"What the hell was that?" Caitlin exclaimed.

Barry grunted in annoyance. "Your new neighbor," he informed, peeling his hands off her elbows, where they were still resting.

Caitlin walked up to the door and cautiously opened it. A long-haired man in a Star Wars t-shirt was outside, and he arched his thick eyebrows when she peeked through the opening.

"You're not Ralph," he observed, pointing at her.

Unlike earlier with Barry, Caitlin was fast to recognize this person. "Well, thanks for noticing, considering that you used to call us the Wonder Twins in high school," she said, sardonically, a smile widening her lips.

The man cocked his head to the side like he was trying to study her from another angle. "Wait a minute… Caitlin?"

She nodded, fully opening the door. "Hello, Cisco."

"Whaaa…?" He stepped inside, cheerfully. "What are you doing here?"

Instead of answering, Caitlin turned to Barry. "Does our whole class live in this building?"

Barry took one step closer to stand by her side. "His apartment used to be my apartment. I told him to acquire it right before I moved out," he explained.

Cisco's smile briefly tensed when he spotted his friend in the room. "What are _you_ doing here?"

"Caitlin is staying here at Ralph's place for a while."

Caitlin hummed in confirmation. "We switched homes. He is staying at my place in Coast City."

They told Cisco what had happened that morning and the circumstances of Caitlin's visit. She was a little embarrassed to explain how Barry and her had run into each other, and felt her face reddening as he tried to excuse her for worrying enough to call the police.

"So, it's like _The Holiday_ without a holiday," Cisco concluded, earning another nod from Caitlin. "Well, welcome back to Central City!" He spread his arms open and wrapped her in a surprise hug. She awkwardly reciprocated before he let her go, remembering that Barry wasn't the only person from high school she had missed. "I'm sorry if I yelled. Ralph got that stupid blender to make protein shakes" – he pointed at the machine, sitting on the kitchen counter – "and every time he plugs it in, the power goes off in my apartment. But I guess it wasn't that this time."

"We have only turned on the oven," Caitlin said, pointing at the kitchen with her thumb.

" _We_?"

Caitlin felt another rush of heat on her cheeks. "Barry and I. He offered to… help me clean and cook."

Cisco's voice turned strangely high pitched. "Did he now?"

Caitlin noticed Barry rolling his eyes from her peripheral vision and exchange a few peeps with his best friend. Was she missing something?

"Anyway, I should _really_ get going," Barry announced, turning his head to look down at Caitlin.

"Okay," she happily sighed, way more relieved after their resolution, especially because now they would have time to talk about it. "I'll call you."

He lightly touched her in the arm and smiled dizzily. "I know."

Barry then noticed that Cisco was waiting for him next to the door and was giving them another weird look, so he finally moved.

"Hey, if you need anything, I'm across the hall. Apt 43," Cisco reminded Caitlin, once Barry walked through the door.

"Thank you so much," she said, escorting them on the way out. "Bye, guys."

Caitlin managed to make one last cheeky eye contact with Barry, and he didn't stop smiling at her until she shut the door. When she was about to walk away, she heard a loud 'paft!' and then a scream.

"What the hell was that for, man?" Cisco moaned, the silhouette of his hand touching the back of his own head, visible through the glass in the door.

Caitlin quietly laughed and shook her head as Barry's figure kept moving without answering, and then she moved away from the door to find something to keep herself busy with.

* * *

Barry glared at Cisco as they walked towards his door, knowing that he couldn't have possibly known that he was having a moment with Caitlin, but he had been unable to hold back his frustration. Why couldn't he have appeared two minutes later? After spending the afternoon thinking that the bond Caitlin and him once had was lost forever, he could have used that private moment to get him through the weekend, since he didn't know when she would have time to call him or hang out again.

When they reached the stairs and Barry turned to leave, Cisco grabbed him by the arm. "Get in," he whispered, trying to shove him through his open apartment door.

"What are you doing?" Barry protested, also in a lower voice. "I have to go, I'm late to my parents' house."

"Oh, yeah? You didn't look in a hurry two minutes ago."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

Cisco put his hand to his forehead, irritated, and started susurrating more aggressively. "Get in the apartment!"

Barry huffed and stepped inside, already knowing that this was one of Cisco's infamous interventions. And, if his memory served him right, he knew exactly what this one was about.

Cisco closed the door behind him, walked into the tiny living room and gave him a very distinct disapproving look.

"Really, Barry?" he finally let out, plopping on the couch as he waved his arms. "Caitlin again?"

Barry sighed and grabbed a chair from the kitchen area. "What do you mean _again_?" he asked, sitting in front of him.

"Oh, come on, now. She has been in the city only for a few hours and you're already the first person at her door."

"It was a coincidence, you heard what happened."

"I'm talking about the part where you offered to clean and cook."

"What about it? She needed help."

" _What about it_? I can't tell if you're pathetic or Bundy creepy."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about."

Barry dropped his gaze. He did, of course he did, but he felt uncomfortable voicing how his friend's disapproval was hurting him, because that would mean he was expecting his approval on something he couldn't himself understand yet. He definitely hadn't thought about him while interacting with Caitlin but, now that he had seen them together, what did he want him to say? 'Go for it'? For what?

"You know what? I'm not surprised," Barry claimed, defensive. "You always had a problem with Caitlin."

Cisco looked mightily offended. "I have never had a problem with Caitlin. I love Caitlin," he made clear. "My problem is _you_ " – he leaned forward and sank his finger in Barry's chest – "in love with Caitlin."

"I'm not in love with Caitlin." Barry leveled a deadly look at his friend when he let out a scornful laugh. "I've moved on."

"Then what are you doing?"

"We ran into each other!"

"Yes, but why did you come back later?"

"I don't know! Why do people keep asking that?"

"Wait. What other people?"

"Ralph."

"You told Ralph this first?"

Barry stared at the ceiling, begging for patience. "Caitlin told him. He already knew when I called him to ream him about leaving without saying anything."

"So, Ralph knows _everything_?"

"He does. He has known for a while."

Barry told Cisco everything he could remember from his drunken night out with Ralph, two years ago. Although Cisco knew about that low point in his life – but was stuck at work that night – the details never surfaced, because Barry had chosen not to revisit it and Ralph loyally kept the secret.

"Oh, my God, I hate being right" Cisco whined, in reaction to discovering that this wasn't the first time the Caitlin subject had come up again since high school. "I repeat, _what are you doing_?"

"I just wanted to talk to her again," Barry answered, already regretting telling him. "It's not that deep."

"Why?"

"Because she was one of my best friends, man. I would do the same if you and I lost contact and suddenly saw each other again."

"Except that wouldn't even be remotely the same, because for one, I wouldn't purposely lost contact with you. And two, you were never in love with me. That I know of," he added, causing Barry to pinch the bridge of his nose. "I know what you're thinking. You think this is fate, destiny or whatever. Maybe you even think this is why Patty dumped you, as a part of some big cosmic plan-"

"You don't know what I'm thinking."

"Okay, maybe not. But I do know _you_ , and you're going to get hurt."

"How exactly? I told you I've moved on."

"And judging by what I saw back there, I don't believe you. You were smitten."

"No, I wasn't."

Cisco exhibited a wolfish grin that caused Barry to laugh hysterically on reflex, further spurring him on.

"See? This is what you do to yourself when you care about someone, especially her," Cisco continued. "You throw your heart up in the air, hoping they catch it when they're looking the other way."

"What?!" Barry screeched.

"You do favors, mend broken hearts and expect literally nothing in return, Barry!"

"Isn't that how you're supposed to act?"

"Yes, but you take it to a whole new level of dumbassery, and she already broke your heart once."

"She had to go to college!"

"Which broke your heart."

"Yes, but…"

"And, from what I heard, she still lives in a different city."

Barry opened his mouth to object and then let out a sigh instead of words. He looked down at the carpet, the truth in Cisco's last statement finally hitting him. Who was he kidding? He was so enthralled by her presence that, despite hearing loud and clear that she was in Central City just temporarily, he had flicked that detail to the back of his mind.

She was not only going to leave again, he wouldn't be enough of a reason to stay, again. And the fact he was already thinking that ahead was not only proving Cisco right, but also freaking him out.

He hadn't thought about her in so long, and now he felt like a dormant, feeling-packed beast had been inhabiting his body this whole time.

What was he going to do when it woke up?

"I never got to tell her," Barry mused, broodily. "And I never got to know if she felt the same way."

"Well, let me take you down memory lane, Barry," Cisco offered, not showing an ounce of pity. "She had a boyfriend back then, and it wasn't you."

"I know."

"You were just a nice guy who was there to pick up the pieces. So please, whatever play you're writing yourself in there" – he reached out to put a hand on Barry's shoulder, still in tough love mode – "don't write it."

Barry frowned. "I just exchanged phone numbers with her. Are you telling me I should ghost her?"

"If that's the only thing you can think of not to fall under her spell again, then you clearly haven't moved on."

Barry rubbed his eyes, hating to be running out of excuses. The reason why he always put up with Cisco's bluntness was that he knew it came from a place of love and because, in most cases, his advice tended to be what was best for him. Now, as much as the possibility of going through all of this again was scary, he knew that leaving things as they were would mean falling down a rabbit hole for another nine years.

Cisco wasn't wrong about him believing that fate had put Caitlin in his path again for a reason, and that was exactly why he couldn't keep his arms crossed, ignore her and protect himself. Because, even if there was no cosmic reason behind incredible things, there was no way to prove it. So, no matter the answer, being brave seemed more appealing that fitting another big 'what if' into his life.

Staying away from Caitlin was definitely not the best for him.

"Cisco," Barry determinedly begun, making a pause to put his chin up, "when Patty dumped me, Ralph set me up with some girl the next week. I don't even remember her name but, at some point during our date, she said there was something she liked to ask everyone she was getting to know, and that was 'what has been the worst day of your life?'" He trailed off, that moment so fresh in his mind compared to the all the other hazed memories from that dark time. "Of course, she caught me off guard, I made up an answer, but I knew my first thought should have been Patty rejecting my proposal… but it wasn't. My mind went straight to the day Caitlin left." He had expected Cisco to laugh, but his eyebrows were arched in a sympathetic expression. "That's right, I had just been let down by someone I thought that was perfect for me, I was barely paying the new apartment I had gotten for the two us, which still feels too big for myself… and yet, that's not the worst pain I have felt in my life."

Cisco leaned forward on the couch, eyes fixed on his fidgeting hands. It seemed like Barry had managed to soften him, and now he was working hard on putting his pride aside.

"I don't know what I am looking to accomplish, man," Barry said then, with a dull laugh. "I just know that I missed her terribly, and I want to spend as much time as I can with her."

Cisco looked up, his lips on the brink of a smile. "You're so damn unlucky in love," he simply stated.

Barry burst out laughing from pure relief. "I can handle myself."

His friend pointed an accusing finger at him. "But you haven't moved on."

He shrugged in submission. "Nope."

"At least we cleared that up."

"We did."

Noticing that Cisco didn't seem to have anything left to say, Barry got out of his seat and walked to the door, hoping that they had the time to discuss this again later and Cisco would end up supporting his decision, even if he didn't agree with it.

Nonetheless, Cisco sped up that process. "Barry," he spoke.

"Um?" he attended, with a hand on the door knob.

"Let me know when you figure things out, what you decide and all that." He smirked at his best bud's obvious confusion. "I'm probably going to regret this, but I'm willing to go through the whole thing with you again. _I have been_ -"

" _And shall always be your friend_ ," Barry finished, suddenly ecstatic to go over that quote for the millionth time. "Thank you, man."

"No problem. Say hi to your parents for me."

"Of course."

Barry got out the apartment, sucked in a deep breath and stood in the hallway for a few seconds, noticing that Caitlin had turned on the apartment lights and maybe he would be able to spot her one more time through the glass in the door…

He immediately reprimanded himself and started going down the stairs, feeling stupid for both looking at Ralph's door with such longing and recreating a scene straight from a rom-com. No matter what big whirlpool was spinning inside of him, he needed to take it easy.

Once Barry was out ofthe building, he sat in his car, realizing that Cisco had held him up for fifteen minutes and his parents would probably start freaking out soon.

Effectively, before starting the engine, he got a text. He huffed and left the keys in the ignition to reply to it and tell his mom or dad that he was on his way before they started calling.

_From: Unknown._

_Is it a good time to call now? :)_

Barry's heart soared. He beamed at the screen and, without even letting five seconds pass, he typed an excited 'yes!' and sent it out, a move that Ralph would've shaken his head at.

His phone rang a few seconds later.

"Hello?" he greeted, putting his phone between his ear and his shoulder to take the car out of the parking lot.

"First of all, are you wearing a handsfree device?" Caitlin consulted, as a greeting.

Barry snorted. "Of course I-" – he reached out to open the glove compartment, grabbed his earbuds and eagerly put them on – "Of course I am. How do you know I'm still driving?"

"Your parents' house is like half an hour away, if they still live in the same neighborhood."

He warmly smiled, looking up at Ralph's window just in case. "They do. So yeah, I do have some time."

"You were expecting me this soon?"

"No. I thought people these days had a three-day rule or something."

Caitlin gasped. "Oh, wow. I'm being extremely uncool right now, then."

Barry wheezed. "Isn't that what brought us together in the first place?"

He somehow could hear a smile in her tone. "Yeah."

"So, what are you waiting for? Tell me some uncool story. I have half an hour to go."

And so she did, her beautiful and more mature voice making driving in Central City a bearable experience for the first time. Once he got stuck deeper in traffic, Barry remembered why he wanted to leave early. His usual half an hour turned into an hour of exchanging college experiences with Caitlin, because they had agreed to start right from the top, and he was not only late to his parents' house, but also interrogated on why his phone had been busy all the way there and why he seemed so distracted and dreamy.

He decided to save that story, hopefully, for the next weekend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading and please let me know what you think!

**Author's Note:**

> So, I honestly don't remember how I came up with this, but it was inspired by my favorite rom-com, The Holiday. If you haven't seen it, I recommend it. In the movie, it's two girls from different countries that switch homes, but for the purposes of this story, I thought it would be more fun if it was Caitlin and Ralph. This is the first time I write Ralph into a fic and I am not quite sure of how the fandom in general feels about him but, for the purposes of this story, he seemed like the right fit. Don't worry, this fic will be mainly Snowbarry, but since I am very excited about Sue Dearbon on The Flash, I felt like writing a mini arc for Ralph and her (not to mention, The Holiday consists of two stories). Cisco will eventually show up, too!
> 
> It might not be necessary to explain, but you will learn more about "what happened in high school" with each chapter. That's another reason why I wanted other characters with close relationships to Barry and Caitlin, to be able to tell the story from different POVs and clarify how much information on a matter each character has. Also, future chapters will probably be longer!
> 
> Special thanks to my friend Ashley for helping me with my grammar. She also came up with the title of this story!
> 
> Let me know what you think and thanks for reading!


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